What is loneliness ?
Have you ever felt lonely ?
Have you felt lonely even if people are around you ?
How to tackle loneliness ?
Can loneliness be enjoyable ?
Is being lonely good or bad for a person ?
What is the difference between being alone and feeling lonely ?
Loneliness is often defined in terms of one’s disconnectedness to others, or more specifically as “the unpleasant experience that occurs when a person’s network of social relations is deficient in some important way”
In simple words, the feeling which makes you think that you are an Odd one out or there is no one available for you with whom you can share your views/feelings is called Loneliness. It is just the physical absence of meaningful people around a person.
Loneliness is a common disorder. In Fact it is a universal disorder. It is common across the adult lifespan. According to a survey by Loneliness and health Poll, 1 in 3 Adults are feeling lonely.
Loneliness is a feeling which can bring you down morally, physically and even mentally. It will make you feel support less. People with loneliness have low self confidence and they always feel insecure.
Loneliness can occur due to your way of upbringing, the total number of relationships you have in your life, if you are separated from your family for a long time, lack of friendship in your childhood and adolescence, staying away from home town for work, after a break up, after losing a closed one like Wife/Husband/anyone who was so close to you etc.
A person who is lonely does everything by himself alone. He eats alone, goes for a walk alone, watches a movie alone, goes to office alone, doesn’t go out anywhere on free time, doesn’t mingle with anyone anywhere etc. He has a feeling that even if he mingles with people he will feel like he is left alone and they will tease him and hurt him for something.
It is not like you will feel lonely if you have no one to talk to or something. You may feel lonely even if you have friends and everyone for you. Like you may be in a room of 10 people and still feel lonely. The feeling of missing someone more than everyone can give you that feeling. It makes you to interact less with everyone else in your life. You will be laughing or having a great time with your friends and suddenly a word or a sentence or type of care can make you think of that person and you will have that crushing feeling and you will oscillate across extreme emotions. Sometimes you may wear a mask of smile on the outside, but deep down it’s just the opposite. Whatever it is always show your true emotions to everyone. Never act or fake in front of anyone. Only if you show your true feelings, others can understand something is wrong with you and can support or help you in some way they can. Remember always that we are social beings.
Loneliness can become a trait. It is addictive and dangerous. Sometimes you may feel comfortable being alone. You would have the feeling that you don’t want anyone for anything in your life. You may think you are enough for yourself. This is a point of risk. If everyone starts having this same feeling, then everything will go wrong. This can cause complete chaos. Human beings are social animals. They should interact with each other and live together for a happy living and long survival.
Recent surveys indicate the improvement in technologies like introduction of Mobile phones, internet, etc has induced loneliness in people. People nowadays are always in need of privacy isolating themselves from others. Social media has started degrading this disorder to a drastic level. People connect in chats and speak like whatever they want. They speak like they are wearing a mask. A mask is not actually something which hides who you are. It is actually which reveals who you really are. In real time face to face, people struggle a lot to communicate and end up lonely. They are forgetting how to communicate in person. This can cause a serious issue in the future. Crimes have increased a lot, majorly after the introduction of the internet. And also they are into limelight after the introduction of internet. Internet has both pros and cons obviously.
Loneliness can never be enjoyable. Even if you feel it is enjoyable. Believe me, it will not exist for a long time. If you end up in a tragedy or an accidental situation, you will feel very bad. You will realize you have no one for any help or support. You will realize how lonely you are when it’s the end of the awesome day or the worst day, and you have a lot of things to talk about, but you have no one to talk to.
Being alone and feeling lonely are both different. Being alone is also termed as Solitude. Being alone is a choice you made to stay away from others for your personal benefit. Feeling alone is you don’t have anyone to connect emotionally even though you want to. Both are completely different poles. One can give you positive vibes and the other completely negative vibes. One will give you a good sleep. You will sleep early, wake up early and complete all the plans and goals in time. The other will not let you sleep, it makes you think unwanted things, your brain will play with you actually during the time you are about to sleep. One will make you so Strong and the other so weak. One will give you a lot of time for you to do whatever you want and the other will make you waste your time available thinking of bad unhealthy and unwanted things. Being alone is good for a person because he gets a lot of time to do whatever he wants. He can focus towards his career, future dreams etc in those time utilizing it to the fullest. But feeling lonely is so harmful. If you are a friend of a person, please never let him/her feel lonely. Loneliness can give a lot of complex implications.
Solitude gives you freedom but loneliness makes you a prisoner.
Solitude has produced a lot of poets and artists whereas loneliness have killed many such.
Loneliness causes depression. Loneliness can lead to bipolar or multipolar disorder. Sometimes loneliness can affect you mentally. You may have a feeling like some unwanted imaginary people are always around you and they are saying you to do something harmful. Loneliness can lead to both mental and physical disorders. Person who is lonely doesn’t follow a balanced or proper diet. He eats only at times or whenever he feels he is too hungry only. He eats only once or twice a day. Since he has no companion to eat with, he simply ignores it. Not having a proper diet can lead to Heart attack, High blood pressure, Obesity, Diabetes etc. Loneliness can increase the concentration of cortisol levels in the body. Prolonged, high cortisol levels can cause anxiety, depression, digestive problems, heart disease, sleep problems, and weight gain.
I have read somewhere in a survey that, Some types of criminals are formed because of the feeling of Loneliness too. Extreme Loneliness can sometimes make you to commit suicide or become a criminal/ harmful person for the society. Most people live their life actually for the benefit of others more than for themselves like for their family, friends etc. If you are feeling you don’t want anyone, obviously it will lead to harmful ways.
Loneliness cannot be overcome by giving a companion to a person voluntarily. Many people aren’t that type. It can be overcome only by a change in their own thoughts, by themselves changing their personality, by themselves realizing they are never alone and they have to make connections with the social world and there is a lot to explore. Boosting the social connections can ease loneliness, but the activity has to fit with the person’s personality.
Loneliness can be overcome by proper therapy from a good psychiatrist. During the therapy, special care is made on understanding the cause of the loneliness, reversing the negative thoughts, feelings, and attitudes which are the causes and effects of loneliness, and exploring ways to help the patient feel connected. Providing nostalgic feelings to a person, explaining him his past life how happy he was or how connected he was or explaining one or other relationships in his life can help him feel better. Sometimes a group therapy can be so useful. In fact group therapy is more effective. It may give a better understanding for each other. It will give an understanding of where they are lacking and how they can get connected. Sometimes having a pet also can solve your loneliness.
But therapies are all for extreme conditions. Loneliness can be overcome by yourself. It is your thinking which makes you feel lonely. If you fight with yourself and change yourself and make you available for social connections, everything can be sorted out very easily. Loneliness can be overcome by improving your social skills, enhancing your social support, increasing your opportunities for social interaction, addressing your abnormal social understanding (removing faulty thoughts and patterns of such thoughts). If you are feeling lonely just plan out a random trip with random people and I promise you after the end of it, you will feel refreshed, have made a lot of new social connections and will have a much better feeling. If it is trekking or hiking, I am damn sure of it. I have practically felt this. I certify this method hereby.
So love to be alone, spend some time alone but never feel lonely. Don’t ever have a fear or feel shy to communicate. People are people just like you. Always communicate to people which seems important for you to communicate. Share love and happiness to everyone you come across. Find Happiness in connecting with People.
Be like Nokia. Connecting People. Hahahah !!